Sunrise, Sunset

Chicago sunrise 6/17/2010

Instead of going to bed right when I got in last night (at 4:30 am), I decided to walk five blocks to Lake Michigan to watch the sun rise. It was the first time I saw the sun rise in Chicago and also the first time I saw one on a beach.

Growing up in California, the sun always sets over the Pacific Ocean, so even though the initial glimpse of the sun over the water this morning was quite familiar, as it continued to rise, it felt like I was watching a video in reverse play.

Look what the sun did to this tree!

The Coldplay video for “The Scientist” came to mind and I realized that I’m living my life backwards here.

I’m sure a lot of people could have told you that though.

“Wait you moved from Los Angeles to Chicago?”  is a question that constantly plays in my head and without coincidence, constantly comes up in regular conversation.

I get it. Our human instinct is to move out west, to the new frontier and explore the unknown. Whether the gold rush or Hollywood fame, California is an imagined paradise to some, especially those who suffer through ungodly winters.

Morning Sky

But, when I said I’m living my life backwards, I meant it in a literal sense.

At home, I pretty much always know what direction I’m facing by using the ocean as a trick. If I’m ever confused about my surroundings, I ask myself, “Where is the water?” because I know that’s west of me.

Here in Chicago, in order to get my bearings, I ask myself where the water is and then I have to remember everything is east of that. I still sometimes feel like the downtown skyline is north and Wrigley Field is south, simply because of the direction in which the water is facing.

Spotlight on a tree.

When I moved here I thought I could train myself easily by just switching the trick: “The water is on the east.” But no matter how many drills I give myself, I will still get bogged down on the directions.

In that respect, it takes a lot of mental effort just to walk down the street. Add that to the fact that I was mugged six months after moving here as I walked down a street and it becomes more clear why I feel like I have no control over my life in this city.

Los Angeles is a huge and crazy, but I guess I’m wired for it – maybe more so than I even thought. I like Chicago too. But I guess it’s more like my Bizzaro World*.

That’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s fascinating. I saw the sun rising this morning and I realized this is totally normal for Chicagoans. The sun rises over water every day.

But for me, it’s a magic trick – as though I’m living the life of my mirror’s reflection.

*Spell check note: wikipedia entry for Bizzaro World indicates it’s a fictional city in the DC Comics universe – as opposed to the real cities there.