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The other night I dreamt I had an audition showcase for Leno. Never mind that moments before falling asleep, I heard that Leno’s show was being cancelled. In Sleepyland, Leno was still going strong and I was getting the opportunity to possibly perform standup on his show.
I was somewhere in LA, being shuttled around a studio backlot from one makeshift dressing room to another. I had no idea how much time I had before the showcase began. Nor did I know what jokes I was going to tell.
I figured I would do my normal set until I remembered some of my jokes weren’t TV friendly. I have a joke that my friends commonly refer to as the “rape joke.” It more about a shitty job than it is about rape, but still Leno isn’t gonna go for that. Rape being mentioned in comedy during primetime TV? What was I thinking?
Besides all that stress going through my head, I also noticed that I had really hairy legs and I needed to shave.
Like real bad. Like really, really bad.
Like so bad that I decided to shave my legs instead of figure out my audition set for a TV show. Yeah, it’s Leno. And I’m not a fan of Leno, but it’s an opportunity, nonetheless.
Subconscious, you need to get your priorities straight. What’s wrong with you?
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